The Effect

Adalynn KearMarch 29, 2023

One day you entered my dms
But never be mistaken
If they enter your dms, that's one thing
You don’t HAVE to let them enter your life
Even if you dont think they will hurt you

One day he grits his teeth
He stares at me
With such anger you can tell he feels passion
In hurting people
He has no regard for peoples feelings

My first love was verbally abusive.
You can grow, but you are never the same
Someone who lied, to get what he wanted.
If I saw through the lies, he would yell.
He would yell so loudly that I was scared to cross him on a bad day.
My first love was a lie, and I know that now.

But what about then?
No one ever tells you that forgiving someone over and over stings.
It strips your confidence like bacon and pops you with hot grease
right in the face, not something you can just get out of

Not just someone you can leave.
It's a binding, hard thing.

It takes enough strength, growth and determination
to tell yourself you’d rather love yourself, than him.
I loved you, with no love returned.
One day, I looked in the mirror and I said, "Hey, I love you.
I’m sorry for putting someone above you who didn't care but to see you fail."

That is true and honest growth.
Lots of people will tell you growth is easy.
But I will tell you this tidbit of information.
Growth is not easy.
Growth is watering yourself, just to watch yourself wilt.

It’s taking everything he ever said
burning it from your memory
If I wasnt skinny like I am
I’d never be beautiful
And forgetting it
Living my life as if you and I never met

You never let me do normal things
Flipping out when I hung out with friends
A simple act of human normality. I ate a meal,
and I regret it because of what you said
Then I realized it doesnt have to rule my life
My confidence kicks in and tells me
He could never replace you
But you could replace him
You just dont need to right now
I’m going to love myself first
I’m sorry it took me so long
But I am here now

Adalynn Kear is from Fort Worth, Texas, and is 17 years old. Adalynn does debate, poetry, track, and youth group. She is ever so excited to be submitting and sharing her passion with you!