Better You Haunt Me Than Make Me Forget You

Pooja HemnaniMay 23, 2023

I don’t remember a day in my life when I didn’t know you existed
What I do remember is your pure soul and your kind eyes and your loud laugh
How you used to be so hearty and energetic, just as a kid should be.
I remember your curly hair as a baby, how I used to love to hold you,
How I used to make fun of the way you spoke, but now I want just one more word from your
mouth to come out, because I yearn for you to stay.
Better death than a miserable life I know but you were nine for god’s sake.
A kid like you, you deserved to grow up and travel, and discover yourself,
You deserved to look at pictures of yourself from today,
You deserved to live more than some years or a few thousand days.
I remember promising you that when you grow up, I’ll tell you all the stories about your
childhood I’d remember.
I remember you were three or four and you said ‘I love you’ to my best friend and we all
I remember walking in on you in the bathroom
I remember your one birthday, when we all ate those little pizza boxes together,
I remember when last year you came to my apartment and we went to the park together.
I remember you lying on the exercise machine and pretending to swim,
I remember holding you, and how you were almost named Jatin.
I remember how your birthday is the first of May, and how you and your sister had a cake
with both your faces on it
I remember that it’s also the international worker’s day,
And I remember thinking about how deep your voice would get, how that was supposed to
be a few Mays away.
I remember helping you with your homework, and how I’d teach you to write alphabets with
your sister,
I remember how lazy you were, and how much you’d shout when I wanted to pick you up.
There's a place for your soul in my teddy bear and a name I could use for him,
So if you ever wish to haunt someone, my mind will always have space, and my heart,
always love.
My childhood, always entangled with yours, and my adulthood, always missing a piece you
were supposed to fill.
I don't wanna say goodbye yet, so better you haunt me than make me forget you
Because you were so young and it was too early.
You were born before your time, but god didn't have to punish you or us by taking you away
before your time too.
But I know one thing, it's that you’ll always live in the memories of us, and you’ll always have
love, and that I’ll miss you in times I know I am supposed to be with you.
You are loved, and grieved, but never forgotten.

Pooja Hemnani is a 15-year-old interested in writing, design, art, and history.