For this PerSpectives article, KidSpirit editors from Haiti, New York, Paraguay, and Pakistan posed questions to these two respected figures who, through their own tragic circumstances, have become spokespeople for anti-violence awareness.

KidSpirit Editor: It is said that violence breeds more violence; why is it so difficult not to hurt others?

Nicole Hockley: There is a saying that “hurt people hurt people.” My understanding is that there are times when the individual trauma any of us has experienced — and the depth to which we perceive that experience — can lead to us becoming more protective, or more defensive. As the emotions can become more overwhelming, we might lash out at others, even those we love. I don’t believe most people want to hurt someone else, but sometimes a person might not have the tools to deal with their negative experiences. By teaching and practicing resiliency, especially at early ages, we can learn how to deal with trauma, manage our responses, and break the cycle of violence.

Pardeep Kaleka: Because it is often easier to look out of windows rather than looking in the mirror. We deflect, project, and hurt people will hurt people. There has been a long history of pain inflicted throughout history and much of the violence we see today is a byproduct of the pain from the past. This is why it is important for both truth and reconciliation to be intentional, and truth coming first.

KidSpirit Editor: How do we make sure that violence does not turn into the mundane reality and instead stays shocking despite its commonality?

Nicole Hockley: Unfortunately, violence has become so normalized in many societies that we don’t always recognize how horrible it is. Whether we’re seeing it in the news, in movies and television shows, or shared through social media, violence is prevalent in our “everyday” experience, which can lead a person to believe that it is part of normal life. Sadly, that can make us apathetic to stopping it, or feel hopeless and think there are no solutions. Violence should never be accepted as “normal,” but many people don’t realize that until It happens to them. While I would never wish for anyone to experience violence, I will ask that we always practice compassion, inclusion, acceptance, and love. Building our capacity for empathy is a powerful way to ensure violence does not become normal, and instead leads us to focus on actions to stop all forms of violent behaviors.

Pardeep Kaleka: Numbing is a coping mechanism for when people feel helpless. Only corrupt leaders benefit from a society that becomes numb. Faith, courage, and community is the key to not make violence mundane and normal. We must have peace in our hearts and in our actions. The danger of evil is that it is always there like an opportunistic shadow. We must all represent the light at all times and be relentlessly optimistic. It is only then that we can beat back this shadow.

KidSpirit Editor: What motivated you to do such inspiring and critical work?

Nicole Hockley: The murder of my six-year-old son changed my perspective on gun violence in the United States. The more I learned about what happened at Sandy Hook Elementary School, the more I realized the tragedy could have been prevented. That’s why I work every day to teach others that gun violence is preventable — and give them the tools to prevent it. I want all young people to feel and be safe in their schools, homes, and communities. I want to ensure no other parent experiences the loss of a child or family member to gun violence. I do this to honor the legacy of my son who was killed, and to protect the life of my son that survived, and all other young people who deserve a safer future.

Pardeep Kaleka: Faith and gratitude. As long as we have breathe in our bodies, we must continue in creating a sanctuary here on earth. God has given us all of the ingredients to achieve peace and harmony, and now the good people of the earth must exercise our own will to make that a reality. It remains to be seen if human beings will coexist or tear each other apart. I am just trying to live a life praising God through my works and this is what I encourage you all to do.

KidSpirit Editor: We’ve been going through a lot here in Haiti, and every day there seems to be more violence. We haven’t seen healing in a long time. What do you think healing for a country, or a community, looks like in a violent time like ours? Do you think we can find healing while we still experience violence?

Pardeep Kaleka: As long as you are breathing, as long as there is hope, you can find individual healing. However, communal healing often takes a bit longer because there needs to be progress in policies, government, representation, and infrastructure. You can heal as an individual but you will get tired over time because the system is breaking you down rather than building you up. Education without opportunity has no teeth, and if Haiti’s systems are not built to help the masses, then only a few can heal and prosper. We must create healing systems.

KidSpirit Editor: What do you recommend young people do to lessen hate and conflict in the world?

Pardeep Kaleka: Young people must stop the curse of generational trauma. The pain that was inflicted on our ancestors must stop with them. We must heal ourselves first and then help heal those around us, and also heal this planet.