KidSpirit

Panic

My hands are shaking
I can’t catch my breath
I can feel the tears rising up again
Before I know it, it’s already happening

A panic attack

I can’t relax
My back is pressed against bathroom wall
My head leaning on the sink

My hands won’t stop moving
Shaking
Quaking
I can’t make it stop
How do I
I can’t
Make it stop

I drop my head, trying to focus on something else
My khaki pants
Small brown stains are forming on my lap
I feel my face
I didn’t even notice
I’m crying

It spikes a little higher
I can’t breathe
I can’t seem to get air into my lungs
And I think I’ve forgotten how

I dig my nails into my skin and try again

1-2-3-4
Hold
1-2-3-4
Release
1-2-3-4
Hold
1-2-3-4
Release

I blow out a stream of and and try again

Improvement

1-2-3-4
Hold
1-2-3-4
Release
1-2-3-4
Hold
1-2-3-4
Release

My hands stop shaking and I bring my attention back to the room

1-2-3-4
Hold
1-2-3-4
Release
1-2-3-4
Hold
1-2-3-4
Release

I stand up
I look in the mirror
The moment has passed

The panic has moved on

Jada Rivera is an Afro-Latina girl who lives in New York City. She is 13 years old, pretty short, and has a huge interest in writing. She can often be found with her friends, joking around and having a lot of fun.

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Art by Jaden Flach, Brooklyn

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Art by Jaden Flach, Brooklyn