Tales of warriors like Tipu Sultan (who fought against the imperialist west during the Mughal Era), or the resilience of the Rani of Jhansi (the Queen of Jhansi), who strode onto the battlefield dressed as a man, fighting against the British erasure of Indian culture in 1857, shaped my perception of strength and influence as I grew up. Yet just an embodiment of physical might or an image of warriors on horseback would be too reductive in capturing strength and influence in my culture.

I learned strength through my mother. The only sister out of six to fight to complete her university education, attain employment, and break through the shackles of poverty, she was the first to teach me fortitude. My house help was the second; a victim of child marriage and an abusive, addict husband, Zahoora’s life seemed to be inherently built upon hardship. Yet, she did not let herself be a victim of circumstance. Working three jobs all over the city, she earned and emancipated herself, fought for her children’s education, left her husband. To me, she was strength.

I learned influence through Qandeel Baloch. A small town girl, looking to own her body and sexuality as a means of liberation from the suffocating patriarchy of Pakistan, she took social media by storm. She was criticized incessantly, yet she drew every Pakistani, those that loved and hated her both, to her every post as though she were a drug. They hated her, but they could not stop watching her. Qandeel did that which most Pakistanis only dreamt of — she owned her body, lived fearless of the patriarchy, or the infamous slogan, “Log kia kahein gay?” (What will people say?). Her existence could not be comprehended by most of us — how could someone exist as the antithesis of the societal norms around her? She was murdered in 2016, yet she lives on still with every young girl that chooses to be herself, with every social media influencer coming out despite the backlash, with every Aurat March (Woman March).

It is the women around me, whose existence is synonymous with hardship, that have taught me what strength and influence truly mean.