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The Pool

For some of my friends, 5:00 am is not a time they are really familiar with. For me, it’s part of who I am.

A part of me wishes to stay in my comfortable bed, yet another part knows I have something to achieve: national qualifying times – a goal I have been striving toward for a long time. Push, pull, push, pull, so many directions and possibilities beckon me to advance. Submit, stay under my doona, or rush out the door into the coolness and the release of the pool.

As to why I wake up to swim, that’s a long story. From being the slowest swimmer in the lowest squad to the most competitive one, the pool has witnessed my growth and evolution. It provides me with a purpose, a sense of identity. Over the past few years, I’ve encountered countless swimmers who inspired me and befriended me. Their support, like waves, pushed me forward. I once was, before coming to Australia, afraid of becoming an outsider or an outcast, a voice from the margins. But I’m proud to say that I “dived” right in; the Aussie pool welcomed me with its watery embrace. The unfamiliarity of a foreign country and the disconnection from my original community soon eased as my teammates accepted me in an instant.

Now, for me, the pool and its endless laps offer an escape; it’s a place that offers solace, a place where I don’t have to make decisions. It’s like Dumbledore’s pensieve, where I reflect upon my carefree past. Here, I submit happily to the pull of the endless laps and the enjoyment of being with my friends. Maybe I’m not quite ready for the five to six hours of study that lay ahead each evening. Maybe, as my parents think, I’m putting off the inevitable with my devotion to my qualifying times. Maybe they are right, maybe they are wrong. It’s hard sometimes sitting on the edge of the pool, watching the junior swimmers, who are new to all of this and have nothing in the world to care about. Envy, guilt, strange feelings. I watch the clock; the second hand is closing in on the first.

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Kailun Sun is 17 years old and lives in Melbourne, Australia. Kailun's interests include photography, sports, multiculturalism, and social justice.